by Bob Cesca @ 8:38 EST
10:50PM
Wait! One last thing. Brian Williams just said the president’s eyes filled with tears several times tonight. Which address was Williams watching?
10:45PM
That’s all for tonight. The next major shpeech for the president will be at the Republican Convention this Shummer, then that should be it. The trucks that are usually tasked with driving through his pregnant pauses will now be deployed elsewhere. Thanks, everyone! Comments will remain open below…
10:36PM
The Romney Unit on CNN with Anderson Cooper. *raise taxes* Talking about illegal immigration. *raise taxes*
10:35PM
Mitch McConnell on FOX News. Has anyone checked to see if McConnell and Steve Forbes are the same person?
10:34PM
Senator Obama with Olbermann: “It was a warmed over past State of the Union speech.”
10:28PM
WHAH! On MSNBC, John McCain looks like a Wal-Mart smiley-face sticker tonight. That was shocking.
10:23PM
You know what’s awesome about Governor Sebelius? She’s a Democratic governor — from Kansas. AND, you can use her head as a straight-edge.
10:19PM
Governor Kathleen Sebelius making with the Democratic response.
10:12PM
Zoinks! Velma from Scooby-Doo is on MSNBC!
10:08PM
Just flipped over to FOX News. Fred Barnes: This speech “will be forgotten pretty much. Haha!”
10:07PM
There’s a gigantic bald man — or the Cloverfield monster — talking to the president and asking for an autograph. Seriously, I know the president is short but this bald dude was 12 feet tall.
10:05PM
Olbermann mentioning something similar to my observation below regarding the Iranian nuclear enrichment program.
10:04PM
“Let us set forth to do their business.” By “their” he means the telecoms. And… he’s done with his last Shtate of the Union shpeech.
10:00PM
I’m staggered by this president’s nerve in talking about liberty and “We, the People.” He supports an amendment banning gay marriage.
9:59PM
Bob Dooooooolle!
9:56PM
“Congress must pass liability protection for companies believed to have assisted in efforts to defend America.” Believed to have assisted?
9:53PM
“Ballishtic mishils.”
9:50PM
Dick Lugar has the same skin tone as a Krispy-Kreme.
9:48PM
The Iraqi government passed de-Baathification. No they didn’t. That’s a lie. Up next, the Iraqi government rides unicorns and poops rainbows!
9:45PM
20,000 troops are coming home. But of course they were supposed to come home because their deployments ended.
9:43PM
The surge is so awesome we couldn’t even imagine it. And now he’s mixing Bin Laden and Iraq even though Bin Laden’s al-Qaeda is totally different. “Some may deny the surge is working.” Someone just yelled out “YOU ROCK!” I wonder if that guy was paying attention when the president mentioned Bin Laden — who STILL HASN’T BEEN CAPTURED.
9:36PM
9/11 mentioned! Rudy’s polling numbers in Florida just jumped 10 points. And the president is spreading the hope of freedom someplace. No-one is sure where. Oh, I know. A year from now, Bushie will be free from having to read any more shpeeches.
9:35PM
“Building a prosperous future for our citizen (singular).”
9:33PM
There’s an object that looks like a shuttlecock in front of Cheney. Make up your own jokes.
9:30PM
“The Constitution means what it says.” Cool. Then he’ll reverse the Military Commissions Act and reinstate Article I, Section 9 of the Constitution: “The privilege of the writ of habeas corpus shall not be suspended, unless when in cases of rebellion or invasion the public safety may require it.”
9:26PM
“Slow or reverse the growth of greenhouse gasses.” Cheney clapped. But he was probably thinking about the baby orangutan he ate for dinner.
9:24PM
Both houses of Congress are asleep. John Dingell is comatose.
9:20PM
Only slightly less ridiculous than mentioning nookular materials is mentioning No Child Left Behind. He should be mentioning the awesomeness of scalp eczema next.
9:13PM
Boehner looks especially orange tonight. Oh — here comes Principal Vernon. “Any tax increases reaches my desk I will veto it.”
9:18PM
The “epidemic of junk medical lawsuits *weird facial tick*”
9:16PM
He’s going to sign an Executive Order that directs federal agencies to reject earmarks that weren’t voted on in Congress. I’m noticing that he’s jovial tonight. Like a kid on the last day of school. “No more shpeeches after tonight! Yay!”
9:09PM
He sounds extra slurred tonight. Mention of A Charge To Keep — which is a painting about a horse thief.
9:07PM
Senators Obama and Kennedy sitting next to each other.
9:05PM
Here comes the president for the last time.
8:59PM
If something awful happens, we’ll have President Dirk Kempthorne. Kempthorne is the Secretary of the Interior and was the cabinet member chosen to stay home tonight. His name is “Dirk Kempthorne” which almost as awesome as his undersecretary “Chest Rockwell.”
8:55PM
The president is going to ask Iran to suspend nuclear enrichment even though it’s been verified to be for energy and not weapons purposes. You’d think that after the 17 words he’d stay the hell away from bullshitting about nuclear weapons.
8:47PM
I was thinking about the president’s final year and this being his last State of the Union (we hope). Remember how previous presidents used to do prime time press conferences? President Bush hasn’t done any of those. Meanwhile, on MSNBC, Mary Katharine Ham is the worst person in the world for not remembering that 24-hour news networks existed in 1998, and therefore President Clinton got a pass during the Lewinsky insanity. Seriously, Ham?
8:39PM
CNN showing a cavalcade of old white men entering the senate chamber while on MSNBC Olbermann notes that there is yet to be an arrest in the anthrax attacks. You remember those — they were one of the terrorist attacks on American soil that happened since 9/11 on the president’s watch.
8:23PM
It sounds like the president is going to crack down on congressional earmarks tonight. According to the OMB website, in 2005: “there were 13,492 earmarks totaling $18,938,657,000.” That was a Republican Congress and the president signed everything that was dumped on his desk. If Hastert dropped a Polish sausage on the White House lawn, the president signed it.
8:19PM
I’m skimming through the policy initiatives here and I’ve determined that tonight’s shpeech is going to be really damn boring. But who knows. Maybe he’ll surprise us all and throw in something about human-animal hybrids.
7:59PM
President Bush makes with the mumbling, shpeech-making one hour from now. I’m wondering if we’re going to see the pissy high school principal Bush that scolds the Democrats and hands out Breakfast Club detentions while flashing that Longhorns finger gesture.
Cross posted Huffington Post
I watched part of it, but had to turn it off… Irans nukular ambitions? 🙄 What in the Hell were those elitist wannabe’s standing up and applauding about?
Excellent Bob! 🙂
Yep, Geezer, I had to turn it off too!
Great work.
As we all know that technology is changing rapidly and the evolution of Internet and Live Streaming has just squeezed all the TV channels into one site. Check the link for Details
Online TV Directory
http://www.jazib.com
I am sure you would like it.