Posts Tagged ‘Mark Halperin’

I have an important message for Michele Bachmann, Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh and the rest of the most visible Republicans on the national stage: Keep going! You’re doing great! If this was video, you would see me standing an applauding. Maybe holding up a lighter for an encore.

The Republican Party is shriveling faster than Rush Limbaugh on a flight home from the Dominican Republic.

While I believe America only benefits from a robust two-party system, the Republicans aren’t really filling their seats at the table. The insufferable centrist Democrats, for better or worse, are covering the power void in an unofficial interim capacity and it wouldn’t shock me if there was eventually a replacement party built up around the conservative Democrats and some of the center-right moderate Republicans.

Another theory for another time.

But it’s clear that there will either be a clean break in the current party dynamic, or the more moderate, reasonable faction of the Republican Party will begin to seriously assert itself against the wingnuts who are, simply put, cartoonish stereotypes of themselves.


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As January 20 grows larger in the window, I’ve been thinking more often about the Bush legacy — specifically about certain aspects of the president’s record that are in danger of being completely obliterated and replaced with myths and wholesale fiction. Some of this effort is of course the purview of Karl Rove and Karen Hughes and their legacy project, while rough drafts of revisionist Bush history are being contributed by certain establishment media hacks — desperate to chisel into the record their take on this outgoing president.

For example. Last week on a special episode of Hardball, my favorite insufferable hack, TIME‘s Mark Halperin, remarked that one of the president’s greatest accomplishments was his response to the September 11 terrorist attacks.

I do think he deserves high marks for his public presentations after a rocky start in the first few hours. […] You can’t be sure of it, but I’m confident that he performed there very well. And other presidents may not have performed as well.

Which other presidents? Lincoln after Fort Sumter? Roosevelt after Pearl Harbor? Kennedy during the Cuban Missile Crisis? At least Halperin interrupted his verbal dry-hump to acknowledge (sort-of) that President Bush sat there in a glazed stupor for nine minutes after being told, literally, that America was under attack.

Like many Bush legacy myth-makers, Halperin has no sense of history. Or he does, but he conveniently ignores it. If he were able to peg this historical event into its proper context, Halperin would realize that the president’s “rocky start” was the first in a series of disastrous performances. The Indonesian tsunami. The Iraq insurgency. Katrina. The economic meltdown. And on and on. Halperin describes those several hours as if the president’s inexcusable behavior was an isolated incident — an aberration — a brief hiccup in an otherwise stellar eight years of lightning fast reflexes and unwavering heroism.


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Reviewing the constant variety of political and cable news hackery from a year that was so thoroughly clogged with incredibly ridiculous performances that we barely avoided a massive eruption of liquid hot crazy, we can easily find more than a few quotes that were almost totally overlooked, along with too many hacks, hoopleheads and outright doofs who weren’t given a full turn at the flogging pole.

For instance, I’m hoping that in 2009 TIME blogger and MSNBC contributor Mark Halperin is finally recognized as not just another very serious haircut amongst a media gaggle of masturbation-addicted cardboard standees, but in fact as a Drudge-caliber hackery-factory providing the establishment media with absolutely the most unforgivably ridiculous pearls of conventional wisdom in already super-stupid media world.

Out of all of the various lists documenting the year’s worst this or that, I haven’t spotted any of Halperin’s greatest hits for some reason. His insufferably decrepit posts include the daily “Five Important People Who Aren’t Obama” lists which appear to be five totally random names blurted out in numerical order without any explanation or insight — ostensibly proving that he can both spell and count. The parasitic hackery twin to his “Halperin’s Take” posts are his PageCast videos in which he tells us about news events, and that we should “watch out for them.” For example: Congress! Watch to see what happens with it and what the congressional members say in Congress.


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